Is it okay to be vulnerable?
Vulnerable is a scary word, especially when it is first uttered. The actual act of being vulnerable brings a lot of discomfort within me. But giving it a moment and sinking it in slowly, it doesn’t feel like a nightmare anymore. It is something we can embrace, being authentic and perfectly humans. So, you too should relax and let us go through this bit by bit. I promise we are in it together, because you and I share something; we are only humans, and now it is time to embrace that fact and live.
Vulnerability is the state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed. It is simply the act of expressing yourself with zero control of the results.
In the first days of my first year of high school, I went to look for my friend Leah in her dormitory, but she wasn’t there. I had to leave a message with the roommate, but when I left them they started laughing. I didn’t know what about, but somewhere inside I knew it was about me. This went on for several days, or weeks, until I asked one of my friends why people laugh when I speak. Guess what it was – my accent. It was the funniest thing that everyone in the whole school laughed about.
I come from Nyeri County, Kenya. Most people born and raised there have a their own way of pronouncing words with some of the English alphabet. I couldn’t commit myself to openly pronounce my full name because it has an ‘l’ and an ‘r’ and there are a hundred chances of doing it wrong. So, I took my dad’s name and many didn’t get to know my actual name, lol. Bringing myself up to ask why they laughed at me was disturbing. Everyone sees you have an issue when you do not see it yourself. You may decide to ignore them, but in my case, I had a lot of questions on the inside. For instance, I can recall the scenarios despite it being exactly ten year ago. I may have become overly self-aware, but I started to learn and I knew when it happened and if anyone laughed. Nevertheless, it was no longer an issue to me.
Like Brene Brown states, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, accountability, and authenticity.”
We live in times where everyone wants to appear happy and living the best life, especially with social media and the likes. We go to the extent of timing how long we take to pick a call so we don’t appear so eager. We shut our feelings in to avoid appearing overly emotional. And we find ourselves in constant war with our instincts, the same inner person who is supposed to provide us with solutions to our problems.
It’s really uncomfortable trying to bring yourself to be seen for who you really are, because until that moment is past, it can really feel like eternity. The good news is in the freedom that comes from truly expressing yourself.
It is a lot of work trying to live up to the expectation of people, because at the end of the day you will end up in your own house where you become real with yourself. You may not even have peace of mind because you are still trying to keep up with what people expect of you, while it would be much easier being you.
Your closest friends are those that you share your hardest times with. They are the people who share with you without the fear of being judged. When you are stripped and vulnerable, you will know your true friends.
There is a sense of relief in knowing that you can show up as your truest self no matter what. Telling someone you were not able to call them because you ran out of airtime doesn’t label you as poor, unless that’s what you’ve painted. There are other explanations, such as why you may not have recharged your phone at that particular moment. And I don’t think anyone should care.
We all deserve the chance to show up and be accepted for who we really are. It is the only chance we have to see the best versions of ourselves. The moment you rise up in the morning and realize you have nothing to hide, defend or prove, you will be amazed what potential you actually have. That way you can allow yourself to rise and shine, because there are no more skeletons under your cloak to sit on or hide. You should stand in the light, and come clean with your inner self. That is how you set your heart free and allow peace and joy to flow in and out of it.
Vulnerability is not just a deep, dark secret. It can be the courage to be and express yourself, revealing who you are. People connect with the humanness you possess. If you seem perfect, you might be hard to hang out with, because nobody else is perfect.
Being vulnerable will help you to be contented and patient with yourself, appreciate others, connect with like-minded people, and reduce unnecessary stress. It will also promote a sense of belonging and self-worth, overcome toxic habits, allow yourself a chance to heal, and build trust in relationships.
It is important to be vulnerable!
Share your thoughts below 😍.